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THUNDERFUCK : A lot of negative comments have been made about Thunderfuck over the years, unfortunately, most of them are true. He is a despicable letch who spouts his life philosophy from the stage hoping that any moronic bimbo will find him funny and spend some time with him. Surprisingly, there are a lot of moronic bimbos out there! He started The Deadly Romantics as a joke and can’t believe he is still telling the same joke 15 years later! Greasier than a fat chick on a treadmill, Thunderfuck makes the dirtiest rock bars in the world seem like the Vatican. “Every girl should be fucked by Rock and Roll” he states, “and I am Rock and Roll!” Usually leaving his hotel rooms looking like a murder scene and the stages he graces covered in bodily fluids. Thunderfuck is a 14 year old boy trapped in the body of a sixty year old woman.
DOUCHEBAG : Douchebag crawls from the grates of Glasgow. Raised on McEwans lager from an early age, the Douchebag relocated to Canada at some point in the last millennium, and proceeded to destroy all things Budweiser. He is the peace keeper in the band and being the personification of gentrification, tries to implement his simple, worry free way of life on to the other members of the band, unsuccessfully. Johnny is the “crunch” of the band coming from the Ramones style of remedial guitar playing. He is the rhythm of the band, even if he refuses to rehearse songs until everyone else knows their parts. If he was a Harry Potter character, he would be Moaning Myrtle. When he is not playing in the band you can find him at home on flight simulators trying to “Blow Up the Jerries!” His life ambition is to finally get his amplifier repaired.
McPAIN : With his red blooded Irish heritage, McPain takes no prisoners. With his political views he usually makes no friends either, so he tends to be quiet. He is not a man to fuck with as he is not easy to knock over. McPain prides himself on the fact that he is an honorary member of the Epiphone Hall of Fame owning the most guitars that resemble actual Gibsons. His sizzling leads mildly mimic Michael Schenker while he exudes the cool of Ace Frehley and the looks of Vinnie Vincent. His social media presence makes him abhorrent to the general public and it is universally advised not to befriend him on Facebook. Judging by his amplifiers, he is an avid collector of inexpensive antiques and can usually be found wandering the streets, dribbling and screaming obscenities to himself about how he should have replaced Snowy White in Thin Lizzy.
CUMSOCK : Cümsock lays down the thundering bass lines leaving a stain wherever he treads. He ejaculates a sonic powerhouse and splooges all over the sonic receptors of all who stand in his way. As a true Hamilton native, Cümsock oozes steel mill stench and survives on alcohol and shatter. In the Deadly Romantics, Cümsock plays the two strings he knows with passion and is currently attending night school studying Bass Guitar Tuning. He has played in many local bands, although none as impressive as his current gig, and prides himself on having no vision nor fashion sense and allows himself to be dressed by Thunderfuck before every gig. He is the audio/visual master of the band and can often be heard talking to himself in the corner of the room discussing “X-32’s”, “SM58’s” and “Channel Snakes”!!! Whatever the fuck that is!!
MENTAL : Mickey is the latest addition to the band, being the eighth or ninth drummer for The Deadly Romantics and has amazingly managed to not kill himself, end up in jail or self-explode. He is obsessed with having the biggest drumset possible for a C-List band, and prides himself on having the largest collection of useless cymbals. He often bores the rest of the band with subjects such as “drum tuning” or “how to clean cymbals correctly”, so much so that the band completely ignores him and he thus has very little input into the functioning of the band. He is the only member of the band not to have a stage name, as his real name is Michael and he is fucking mental! He somehow sees Thunderfuck as a prophet and lives his life as though each Deadly Romantics song was its own book in his fucked up bible. He really should move to Norway and start burning churches!
Thunderfuck and the Deadly Romantics were formed in the industrial city of Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Over a career spanning two full length releases and four EPs, the band has successfully offended people across North America and Europe. Amateur song writing and what can only be described as childish and grossly immature lyrics, the band continues to defy logic by not splitting up and going home to make better lives for themselves. Making headlines in both Canada and the UK for their lack of empathy towards the snowflake generation, and continuing to find things such as misogyny, feminism and sexism entertaining topics to sing about. The band have played such festivals as the Breaking Bands Festival in Birmingham (UK) and headlining the Croatia Bike Week in Pula (Croatia), and continue their quest to bring rock’n’roll back to the masses.
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NOV
